This article foregrounds the role of secrets in creating, maintaining and disrupting intimacy. We extend sociological theorising on secrecy by demonstrating the operative role of secrets, across the entire relational spectrum within the non/monogamy system. The focus on non/monogamy is particularly revealing, as questions about secrecy and deceit are intensely charged with moral meanings. Ultimately, we argue that secrecy is an integral and constitutive part of intimate practice. Building on Simmel’s work on deceit and lying, and its recent adaptations within the sociology of secrecy and critical theory, we assert that practices of secrecy should be central to the study of intimacy and the sociology of personal life. The distinction between consensual non-monogamy (e.g. polyamory) and non-consensual non-monogamy (such as affairs) tends to focus on mutual disclosure and transparency as key markers of difference. We take an important step in challenging the dichotomy of secrecy and transparency, showing that strategies of secrecy are implicated in the production of both monogamies or non-monogamies, whether consensual or not.

中文翻译：

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亲密关系中的保密性：重新思考一夫一妻制和非一夫一妻制中的透明度和欺骗


本文强调了秘密在创造、维护和破坏亲密关系中的作用。我们通过证明秘密在非/一夫一妻制系统内的整个关系范围内的作用来扩展关于秘密的社会学理论。对非/一夫一妻制的关注特别具有启发性，因为关于秘密和欺骗的问题充满了道德意义。归根结底，我们认为保密是私密行为的一个组成部分。基于西美尔关于欺骗和谎言的工作，以及它最近在保密社会学和批判理论中的改编，我们断言保密实践应该是亲密关系和个人生活社会学研究的核心。双方同意的非一夫一妻制（例如一夫多妻制）和非自愿的非一夫一妻制（例如外遇）之间的区别往往集中在相互披露和透明度上，作为差异的关键标志。我们在挑战保密和透明的二分法方面迈出了重要的一步，表明保密策略与一夫一妻制或非一夫一妻制的生产有关，无论是否是自愿的。