This paper examines an overlooked aspect of interpersonal love: Like morality, love demands a certain kind of impartial or disinterested vision from us. We cannot love another person well, I argue, without being capable of such impartiality. Unfortunately, our self-interested nature makes meeting love's demand for impartiality extremely difficult if not impossible. This paper unpacks and offers a solution to this difficulty. Drawing on Iris Murdoch's work on love, I suggest that we can come to appreciate our beloveds as we should through unselfing, a state of self-forgetful, disinterested appreciation of an object outside the self. When we unself, we are so deeply moved by an external object's value—e.g. a stunning sunset—that all our subjective cares and concerns disappear from view. In concluding, I suggest that the capacity for impartiality we must develop to love someone well is relevant to understanding what our moral relations demand of us.

中文翻译：

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 爱与无私


本文探讨了人际爱情中一个被忽视的方面：就像道德一样，爱情也要求我们有某种公正或无私的愿景。我认为，如果没有这种公正性，我们就无法很好地爱另一个人。不幸的是，我们自私的本性使得满足爱对公正的要求变得极其困难，甚至不可能。本文对这一难题进行了剖析并提供了解决方案。借鉴艾里斯·默多克（Iris Murdoch）关于爱情的著作，我建议我们可以通过无私（一种忘我、无私地欣赏自我之外的物体的状态）来欣赏我们所爱的人。当我们不自我时，我们会被外部物体的价值深深地感动——例如，令人惊叹的日落——我们所有的主观关心和担忧都从视野中消失。最后，我认为我们必须培养公正的能力来好好爱一个人，这与理解我们的道德关系对我们的要求有关。