Invisible power—the ability to resist changing one’s behavior because of an unspoken consensus that the status quo is natural or inevitable—upholds gender inequality in different-gender marriages. Yet the “consensus” that Aafke Komter documented more than 30 years ago—one in which both men and women endorsed male primacy and believed it natural for women to enjoy housework and men to pursue professional ambition—has weakened among the college-educated, upper middle class. We ask: What is the new consensus upholding gendered power imbalances among contemporary highly educated couples? We draw on 112 interviews with members of 44 such couples making career and family decisions to update theorizing on invisible power. Examination of decision-making processes and outcomes across work and family domains over time, including in cases of apparent agreement, reveals the consensus now upholding men’s interests to be couples’ conviction they are practicing mutuality. Partners’ belief that they are mutually pursuing both individuals’ and the family’s best interests by emphasizing “us” and balancing a decision portfolio helps them overlook unsuccessful attempts to minimize power imbalances. Progress toward gender equality among different-gender couples will likely remain stalled as long as efforts to practice mutuality overshadow critical evaluation of their success.

中文翻译：

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相互性的神话：决策、婚姻权力和持续存在的性别不平等

无形的力量——由于一种不言而喻的共识，即现状是自然的或不可避免的，而抵制改变自己行为的能力——维持了不同性别婚姻中的性别不平等。然而，阿夫克·科姆特 (Aafke Komter) 30 多年前记录的“共识”——男性和女性都支持男性至上，并相信女性理所当然地享受家务，男性追求职业抱负——在受过大学教育的上流社会中已经被削弱。中产阶级。我们要问：当代受过高等教育的夫妇中性别权力失衡的新共识是什么？我们对 44 对做出职业和家庭决定的此类夫妇的成员进行了 112 次采访，以更新关于无形权力的理论。随着时间的推移，对工作和家庭领域的决策过程和结果（包括明显同意的情况）的检查表明，现在的共识是，夫妻相信他们正在实践相互关系，维护男性的利益。合伙人相信，他们通过强调“我们”和平衡决策组合来共同追求个人和家庭的最大利益，这有助于他们忽视尽量减少权力失衡的不成功尝试。只要实践相互关系的努力掩盖了对其成功的批判性评估，不同性别伴侣之间在性别平等方面的进展就可能会陷入停滞。